"Just Be Yourself"

Some of the worst advice given to men when it comes to attracting women is "Just Be Yourself." But what does that mean anyway? Most of us have different aspects of ourselves that we present to the world depending on the situation. For example most of us behave differently when we are watching the game with guys than we do at work or at our sister's wedding. So which self should we be?

What a woman is really saying when she says to be yourself is; don't pretend to be something you are not. No women dreams of being duped into being with a man. When you think about tricking a woman into sleeping with you is not much different than raping her.

I'm not an advocate of deceiving women, not only is it wrong it will backfire on you every time. Women have finely tuned bullshit detectors and will eventually figure out that you aren't what you claim to be.

So what do you do if you aren't naturally attractive? What if you are awkward around women? Still live with mom? Or have any number of unattractive traits? My advice to you would be to be the self you want to be even if you aren't quite there yet. In other words fake it until you make it.

"Wait a minute!" You might be saying to yourself. "I thought you said not to try to deceive women into liking you!"

Let me put it this way. If you are new to golf and you are standing there at the driving range, mimicking those around in the way they stand and swing the ball are you being deceitful? The answer depends on if you are really trying to learn golf or just pretending to. While women hate being deceived they appreciate very much a man who is trying to improve himself.

So take a little time and imagine the kind of man you'd like to be. The be honest with yourself and take immediate action towards becoming that man.

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The Fear of Approaching Women

Do you think that you are the only one afraid to walk up to and talk to a woman you've never met? Have you ever beaten yourself up because you wussed out even though you couldn't quite put your finger on what you were afraid of? Don't be ashamed EVERYONE is afraid of the approach. Even the best of the best with women fear the approach to a certain degree. It's been hard wired into us as a survival mechanism. More on this in a future post but for now just know that it's not your fault and that it serves a good purpose.

Because virtually everyone fears approaching women the difference be those that can walk up to a stranger and get her number or a date and those who sit paralyzed with fear is strategy. Having a strategy for dealing with approach anxiety is all it takes. Here are some tips that worked for me.

• Resolve make every approach. No more excuses if you think about talking to a girl you haven't met yet JUST DO IT.
  
• Look and Smell your best. From now on always leave your house feeling good about the way you look, smell and dress. Not only will your chances with the ladies improve you'' get a boost in confidence while eliminating a common excuse not to approach.
  
• Know what you are going to say. Some people think it's deceitful or unnatural to have a prepared opener. It's not at all in fact we all have our "canned" lines we use every day. Come up with a few opening lines (No cheesy pickup lines, please!) to have at the ready so you don't have to try to think up something to say on the spot.
  
• Don't hesitate. Hesitation leads to masturbation. Hesitation makes you look weak and destroys your confidence. When you see someone you'd like to meet start walking over to her immediately. Don't wait for the opportune moment, it will never come.
  
• Make it a game. Meeting new people should be fun. Use your imagination to come up with ways to make it a game. Embrace rejection when it happens, learn from it but beyond that don't dwell on it.
  
• Don't Place too much emphasis on the outcome. When you are new to the game think of each approach as practice in building a new skill set. Don't get attached to getting anywhere with any particular woman. Realize there there are tens of thousands of women who are every bit as attractive as she is. If she rejects you no big deal there are a thousand women in line behind her that will be happy to meet you.
  
• Desensitize yourself. I'm sure there are things you do frequently now without thought that used to scare you are at least make you nervous. Where you nervous the first time you drove a car? How about the first day at a new job? The point is that although you were scared at first eventually it went from something that made you nervous to something you do without thinking about it at all. The first girl you approach will scare you, but with each approach the fear will gradually go away until it becomes almost imperceptible.

Meeting an attractive woman you don't know and turning that first encounter into a relationship is a skill worth developing. It's the key to having a successful dating/sex life and being able to have to kinds of relationships you want. Be sure to subscribe to the ITGA newsletter (using the form to upper right of this page to learn more about approaching and meeting women using the form at the upper right of this page). The newsletter includes detailed information that I don't disclose anywhere else and is limited to only a few hundred subscribers.

P.S. Check out the guest Q & A by David DeAngelo

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You've Been Lied to About Women

Virtually everything you've ever learned about women is a lie. These lies have bee perpetuated through movies, books, TV shows and music. What's worse is people you trust have bought into these lies and have helped cement them into your consciousness. What makes these lies so pervasive is that we want to believe them because they are so appealing and romantic. The main problem isn't that women are being intentionally deceitful because most of the time they are not trying to fool you. It's that we cling to these romantic misconceptions with religious like zeal. And when what we're doing doesn't work and instead of trying a new approach we put more effort into doing what didn't work. It makes no sense whatsoever but we all do it. I've done it.

Here is a short list of some the bad advice and misconceptions we have when it comes to attracting women.

1. "Just Be Yourself" What does that even mean? As human beings we are constantly learning, growing and having experiences that change us. What women mean is don't try to bullshit them or trick them into liking you because they will see right through it. In otherwords be geniune and don't try to be something you're not. Personally I present different aspects of myself depending on the situation I'm in. I behave differently at the office talking to my boss than I do when I'm hangion out at a bar with my buddies whatching monday night football for example. So my take on "Just be yourself" is to prestent your best self and be willing to learn and do new things to truly cultivate and discover the best version of you.


2. "Women just don't wan't sex the way men do." The truth is that women don't want sex as much as men, they want it more! They have the only human organ, the clitoris, devoted exclusively to sexual pleasure. Many women can have multiple orgasms. A woman's orgasm is more intense than a mans and a woman needs little or no recovery period between orgasms. They can organism through the stimulation of any of several erogenous zones. Women in general are much more sexual than men and need sex as much or more than men. The problem is that most of a woman's power in society comes from her attractiveness to men. The more beautiful and unattainable she seems to be the more men want her and the more power she has. The more easily she is seduced if she becomes labeled a slut then she loses all power and becomes perceived as less than human to society. This sad but true fact has forced women to keep their carnal desires to themselves. Although much has changed women still instinctively hide their sexuality to the world.
   


3. "You should wine and dine her" Buying her flowers, gifts and taking her out on expensive dates is nice for her if she doesn't have anything better to do. But given the chance to spend time with an attractive, interesting man who doesn't spend a dime on her she will choose attractive and interesting over expensive any day of the week. So she may appreciate the money you spend on her but it just won't make her attracted to you. Unfortunately many men seem to think they can buy a woman's affection this way. It just sends the wrong signals. Even if it only registers to her subconsciously it sends the message that you need to bribe her to spend time with you.

I will be expanding on these concepts in future posts and show you in detail what you can do to be more attractive to women. Women behave the way they do for a good reason. A woman's seemingly irrational behavior is actually serves a vital purpose.

Until Next Time,

JC

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Attraction is NOT a choice

"Attraction isn't a choice...If you start talking to a women and you interact with her long enough that she forms an opinion of you and she doesn't feel attraction for you then there is nothing you can about it.  No amount of amount of whining, talking, convincing, calling, buying her gifts, and doing things for her is ever going to convince her to feel attraction for you.  Because it's not a choice, she doesn't choose it.  On the other hand if you she forms an opinion of you and she DOES feel an attraction for you there is nothing that SHE can do about it."  ~ David DeAngelo author of Double Your Dating

The above quote is where my journey from heartbreak to having power and choice over my sex life began.  It both the good news and the bad news when it comes to attracting women.   The good news is that regardless of your height, looks, income or penis size if can demonstrate attractive traits to a woman she will be attracted to you.  Even if you aren't her "type."  The bad news is that if you behave in an unattractive fashion she will not be attracted to you even if you are tall, good looking, rich and well endowed. Either way it's important to understand that it is not a conscious decision within the woman's mind but rather an subconscious and instinctual reaction.

What a woman responds to may be very different than what she says she wants or even what she really believes she wants.   This why much of what works with women is very counter-intuitive and contrary to what most of us have been taught.  In future posts I will be teaching you step by step what you can do to become attractive to the women you want but for now I want you stop behaving as if her internal reaction to you is by instinct and not by choice.   So starting now stop trying to convince women the like you.  This is a fundamental and essential understanding for you to grasp in order to progress.

 Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss out on future posts.

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No dates no sex for 7 long years

[Ed: As promised here is our new pupil who has graciously agreed to share his insights it the process of learning to attract and keep the woman of your dreams.]

My name is Chris I and I haven't had a sex or even a date in seven long years. That sad fact which I am both ashamed and embarrassed to admit not only to others but also, perhaps especially to myself I can only admit to you know because of the anonymity of this blog and because soon I hope to forever shed my identity of the lonely loser.

I've been afraid to admit that this area of my life needed to be address make excuses to myself and others why I didn't have someone special in my life. But I will be turning forty soon and I suddenly find myself more afraid spending the rest of my life in quiet desperation, alone and ashamed that I don't have the balls to do anything about it.

What drew me to InTheGameAgain.com was that Mason's story up to the point were he started to succeed with women was much like mine. Before I was alone I was married for nine years to a woman who I was 100% devoted to but who I descovered at the end of my marriage had cheated on me numerous times. I rather be alone than suffer through that again.

I've met Mason and been impressed bost by his success with women but his compasion and empathy for men like you and me who haven't learned what he knows. He truly wants to help others succeed in every way possible. I'm very excited for this opportunity and happy to have you along for the ride.

Dating Success Training: Who is it for?

Future posts will include tips and techniques that will instantly improve your attractiveness to women. In addition my friend Chris will be introducing himself as he begins his journey into a world of power and choice with women. There will be exciting guest articles from the likes of David DeAngelo, Mystery and Lance Mason among others. For now let me address a question that you may be asking yourself...

Is this for me?

If you are wondering if this is for you I will answer that but first let me address who this is NOT for. If you have issues with women and want to learn to trick or manipulate them in order to hurt or take advantage of them then please unsubscribe, leave this site and never come back. You simply aren't welcome. Better yet get some professional help. Failing that please feel free to jump of a bridge or eat a bullet it's all the same to me.

This is NOT about lying to or otherwise duping women into doing what they wouldn't do otherwise. This is about personal transformation, becoming your best self so that women naturally want to share themselves with you. Yes YOU.

So is it for you? Have kicked yourself because you were afraid to talk to an attractive woman? Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship because you felt like you couldn't do better? Have you spent too many nights alone? Have you ever be mystified by a woman's behavior? Or like myself have you ever tried to save a failing marriage by doing everything you thought she wanted only to have things get worse instead of better?

I could go on but I think you get the idea. The point is that most men are confused when it comes to women and what's worse they are afraid to admit they need help. But if you have the courage and resolve to take charge and get this aspect of your life handled then this is indeed for you and if you put in the effort then you are virtually guaranteed to have the love and sex life of your dreams.

Welcome!

Welcome to the In The Game Again Blog! What we hope to accomplish here is to provide you with the proven information you need to become more attractive to women allowing you to have the relationships with the women of your dreams but also define those relationships on your terms. Unfortunately most men don't know what really attracts a woman what's worse is that many don't know they don't know. If you think it takes chiseled good looks, six pack abs and a six figure income to attract the woman of your dreams then you are one of these people. While these things don't hurt there are many examples of rich good looking men who are alone. Likewise there are plenty of examples of short, physically unattractive men with relatively modest means who consistently date anyone they want including the most intelligent, beautiful and desirable women you could imagine.

How this is possible and how you (yes YOU) can do this is the subject of future posts so be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a single post. Not only will you get some great advice from some of the foremost dating and attraction experts in the world you'll have the opportunity to follow along as a regular guy goes who we've taken under or wing transforms himself from lonely loser to ladies man with more options than he knows what to do with.

In the mean time I suggest you check out My Story and be sure to Subscribe by using the form to the right.